Teaching for the Spring for 2008: The Tyranny of Weakness by Tamar George
In my opinion, every day we suffer in one way or another from the Tyranny
of Weakness.
Just what are tyrannical behaviors and its relationship to weakness? Tyranny
(written here) will mean one who exerts cruel power unjustly over others.
Sometimes the cruelty happens behind our backs, but more often face to face.
Many normal acting individuals impose their will on others for their own selfish
motives. What might be surprising is that many of us don’t even recognize
we are being terrorized? We have a choice when this happens. When the choice
is to react, then this behavior sprouts out of our own weakness. Our reaction
if it’s childish, is then giving the other permission to continue to
behave badly. If we don’t confront the behavior with right action then
the behavior never stops. So how does one recognize the behavior of tyranny?
How does one stop it?
Where does the tyranny begin?
During that day there are millions of thoughts that are activated through our filters. These thoughts are connected to justifications in defense of our routine behaviors. Thoughts such as; “I didn’t do that! It’s not my responsibility! They should have told me about that? Why are they upset that I reacted and said that? They should know what I’m thinking?”
After all, our justifications have served us for eons. We are brilliant at knowing when another is justifying their behavior. We are really good at 'seeing' when others take away another’s power. We are not so good at our own behaviors.
If you think about the Evening News on TV, you will know that we understand social injustice. We know it is not a good thing when a parent murders their child. That’s just wrong!
What most of us are not 'on' to is our own social injustice. We are not ‘on’ to our own wrong behavior. We are not ‘on’ to when we murder our own child within ourselves or another's child within the other. These are the innocent wide eyed children that live within us. They are the 5 or 8 year old that still trusts other's in the world they live in. These children get hurt daily by another's (I’m not enough child) that is still acting out.
Think about the time you were in sixth grade when you started to gossip about
others. You were trying to feel good about yourself in your world.
That hasn't changed even though you’re over 40. Gossip hurts you and
hurts others.
You cannot justify your behavior by making the other person out to be the
'bad' guy. Each of us is responsible for all our own perceptions of situations.
Our reality is created by our beliefs about ourselves. It is all our stuff.
No matter what, it is all our STUFF. Most of the stuff-ing we have inside
us is about not having balanced esteem. If we feel we are enough (fill in
your own blank of enough what?) Because if we are enough we never talk about
another or the situation.
How do we recognize the tyranny of weakness in others and ourselves?
The Bully/Bulldozer: runs over others.
The Baby Whiner: acts incompetent, acts insecure.
The People Pleaser: puts their needs last.
The Competitive: tries to inflate self esteem.
The Guru: acts grandiose.
The Sarcastic: funny at your expense.
The Impostor: terrified of failure.
The Rebel: blames other’s excessively.
The Loser: cynical and frozen.
The Con Artist; motives which are self-serving.
The Lonely: pushes others away.
The Dapper Dan: tries to look good, no matter what.
The Boundary Hunter: lacks clear boundaries.
The Shame Master: shame, shame, shame.
The Rageaholic: escalates the situation.
The Martyr: voluntarily suffers.
And I’m sure we could add or exchange the words for all these roles.
Being aware of some of these roles stops the behavior, because we recognize
it and won’t put up with it. Nothing changes until we are aware of something.
Nothing changes until we are strong enough to demand a stop to it.
There is urgency for getting to know what our weakness is masking? What is
the fear behind the weakness? How can we stand up for ourselves? How can we
finally like and respect ourselves because we have learned to trust ourselves
and not be fearful of the terrorist that lives within us. We create what we
believe about ourselves in the world. If we pray for peace, then we have to
know what it means to have peace within ourselves.
Put an end to terror.
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Places I have worked and taught in |
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intuitive painting, how to read tarot cards.
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